There will be days in your life where you will find extraordinary moments that will give you lessons. And in these moments, triggers are at work. What are these triggers?

It looks like that moment when you saw a guy not opening a door for a girl and you thought, “Chivalry is dead.” or maybe that moment when you met a friend who you haven’t seen in a long while and you noticed a change in the way he talks to you. In these certain situations, you find yourself thinking over what had happened and then you start to ask questions and create realizations. We call these our ‘triggers’. These are certain moments we experience that alarm us with our beliefs and dispositions in life. And when you’re on your journey to self-improvement, the triggers you see are the answers to the question, “Where do you start?”.

First of all, you are triggered by particular things not because you are simply bothered and that is all. You are triggered because something about it sparked an alarming question in you that requires action. It’s a reaction to something that needs to be fixed in you. That is why it’s helpful to use these triggers when you are wondering where to start. 

Here are some tips I can share with you in order to identify triggers and how you can use them for self-improvement.

If it’s bothering you, write it down.

“A man should always open a car door for a woman. Why didn’t that man open the door for her?

This is your initial thought and this is what you should write down first. No matter how judgy you think about yourself, accept that this is your view.

Ask yourself about what you think about that moment.

“Is chivalry really dead now?”

However, do not only dwell on what you think. Try to explore other possibilities why this certain moment happened. You can ask:

“But does a man always have to open a car door for a woman? Does it always have to be like that?”

List possible reasons why you are bothered by it.

Maybe you’re the kind of person who wants to advocate gender equality. Maybe this is something you stand for.

Maybe you stand for the principle that men should be taking care for girls because girls must be treated well.

Or maybe you want people to realize that women do not have to wait for men to take care of them because they can be independent.

Now, what does this trigger have to do with your self-improvement? 

What’s in that moment that can help you?

Pay close attention to these things. They are often connected to your path, passion, and purpose in life. 

And with this in mind, you have your answer. 

“Where do I start?”

It’s simple, start where your heart tells you to go. 

Start where the flame is. 

Move forward with the lesson you had after that trigger moment.

Go with what your heart truly desires for it is the key to unlocking all mysteries, the answer to why all along, you have been triggered with that particular moment.